It has been a long, hard, stressful week and one that has made me take a long hard look at myself and acknowledge that I have control issues.
I like to be in control of my life and the happenings that take place around me, and most times I can adjust to the changes and curve balls that life throws at me, but this past week I have found difficult.
I am counting the days till I head off back home and it is my decision to leave. The lodge is going to be handed over to new staff to run and that is what I am having trouble letting go of. Mel and I have worked so hard to make it what it is and are rightfully proud. The new staff arrived this week and I find myself biting my tongue and having to change my narrative from ‘This is how it is done’ to ‘This is how I do it’.
I know that change can be a good thing and just because it is different, doesn’t mean that it is wrong. At the same time I am still working here and in charge of managing the lodge, so change can take place once I leave, not during. Mel’s advice is ‘Mom, smile and wave’. We are both moving onto new beginnings and adventures and I have to allow myself to let go. But it is hard.
Diary of the peregrinating granny from South Africa 